Swamiji’s Self-Revelation
(This portion is from a touching letter by Swami Vivekananda to his American mother, Mrs Bull. After years of continuous struggle and hard work, Swamiji sat down to write his mind. These are the words of the prophet.)
I have worked my best. If there is any seed of truth in it, it will come to life. So I have no anxiety about anything. I am also getting tired of lecturing and having classes. After a few months’ work in England I will go to India and hide myself absolutely for some years or for ever. I am satisfied in my conscience that I did not remain an idle Swami. I have a note-book which has travelled with me all over the world. I find these words written seven years ago — “Now to seek a corner and lay myself there to die!” Yet all this Karma remained. I hope I have worked it out. I hope the Lord will give me freedom from this preaching and adding good bondages.
“If you have known the Âtman as the one existence and that nothing else exists, for whom, for what desire, do you trouble yourself?” Through Maya all this doing good etc. came into my brain — now they are leaving me. I get more and more convinced that there is no other object in work except the purification of the soul — to make it fit for knowledge. This world with its good and evil will go on in various forms. Only the evil and good will take new names and new seats. My soul is hankering after peace and rest eternal undisturbed.
“Live alone, live alone. He who is alone never comes into conflict with others — never disturbs others, is never
disturbed by others.” I long, oh! I long for my rags, my shaven head, my sleep under the trees, and my food from begging! India is the only place where, with all its faults, the soul finds its freedom, its God. All this Western pomp is only vanity, only bondage of the soul. Never more in my life I realised more forcibly the vanity of the world. May the Lord break the bondage of all — may all come out of Maya — is the constant prayer of
Swami Vivekananda
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